For a change, I'm not going to be a smart ass and say that my first love was reading books. No.
The first time I remember feeling for someone else was in grade two. The details aren't all that clear to me anymore, but I remember how it felt being truly attracted to someone for the first time. Those were the days when there's always a smile for no reason, feeling a bit light-headed and wanting to see that person.
Okay, some people say that those movie scenes when two people are suddenly caught in a moment staring at each other is really an exaggeration... Well, not really.
It was for a minor school play. He was Adam and I was Eve. We were practicing our scenes and somewhere along the way, it just happened. I suddenly felt that I had a crush on this boy who played Adam, and I kinda felt that he felt the same because he looked at me like 'that', too, before it became totally awkward. I was suddenly shy around him and all that shiz... GAHD, I think I'm failing this supposed attempt at a romantic blog post. I'm never gonna be the mushy type.
I'm not sure if it was LOVE... we were in second grade! Perhaps it was a semblance of it. My memory is quite good and what I really remember was the feeling of discovering a totally new emotion. In grade two.
I'm still friends with that guy and there are times when I suddenly remember grade two and I'm like... First crush ko yan at first crush niya ko before he began to totally hate me for teasing him to be gay. I had a defense mechanism in place, grade two palang. If you don't want to feel awkward towards another boy, convince yourself that he's gay. BUT that was in Grade Two. And it was FUNNY.
A little backgrounder: I started this blog on a Monday, 21st of March 2005, while waiting for a colleague to finish working so we could head over to Valero for drinks. This was at a time when Facebook and Twitter weren't what they are today. This was also at a time when we started the "Break-the-week" routine on Mondays to cope with workplace stress and all that. And this was at a time when Capones (now Le Bistro Vert) in Valero was one of the places to be in Makati, along with Il Ponticello, the Greenbelt 2 strip (Nuvo, Uva, Mezze, Kai, Pepato, etc.), Tabu and Pinoy Rock joints like 6 Underground, Saguijo and of course, Gweilos.
I remember that as a really hectic day and we were set to unwind that night (yeah, the need to unwind even right after a weekend), when I felt the urge to write about anything but work and created a blog that was originally meant to be a private site (but word got out and I now have 5 readers after 6 years of blogging, plus the occasional lurkers haha).
Anyway, the two first paragraphs are not really necessary for the topic of today's blog challenge.
ACT LIKE YOU KNOW simply means... To act like you know. When I started working, I was such a nene that I thought no one took me seriously. In my Atenean ma-pride way, I admitted that I still lacked experience, but I refused to accept that my insights and recommendations were not good enough to be taken seriously. So my mantra was to "ACT LIKE YOU KNOW", and I found that if I projected myself in a certain way and delivered things with conviction, I kind of earned a higher level of respect than my nene persona inspite of holding an entry level position. I was young but not stupid and I was eager to prove it.
It can actually mean several things. You can "Act Like You Know" in a sense that you want to be believable when you're winging it, or "Act Like You Know" because you really know, it just looks like you don't but you do.
The subhead: "What you don't understand you can make mean anything" is a line borrowed from one of Chuck Pahlaniuk's books. It just means that everything here is up for interpretation, and because I'm not really encouraging readership, people are reading at their own risk. I'm not inclined to explain any of the things that I write here or to name the anonymous characters in my vague blog posts. If anything strikes a chord, then it's up to the reader to make something out of it. The comments function is purposely disabled so the only people who will ever get a chance at a clarification or an explanation are the ones who know my mobile number.
(Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts)
My name is Joy and I am not an alchoholic.
Yes, of course, not. HAHA. Seriously, I'm not an alcoholic. I just enjoy drinking. I'm not anywhere near Lindsay Lohan's alcohol abuse. I don't do drugs either, though there was a time I've been told that I live the life of a rockstar (late nights, alcohol and all that shiz). I counter that I'm not a rockstar because A) I have no fans; B) I can't sing to save my life even if I love music; C) I don't go around in swag rides; D) I can't even put eyeliner properly; and E) I hate being Jabar and being jabar is a staple characteristic of rockstars. They're all just... sweaty.
Moving on... I'm supposed to write 15 interesting facts about myself. I don't know about interesting, but what are listed below are surely facts:
I love reading books from the classics to contemporary fiction. Chuck Pahlaniuk is my favorite author and if I were reincarnated as an author, I'll probably be him. Dark, sarcastic and funny.
I WAS a young achiever. There was once a time when people wouldn't believe that I hold quite a high-ranking position in the office. What? That clown? Did she laugh her way to the top? WAS because I'm not young anymore or at least I don't consider myself to be.
I cannot do number 2 on a dirty toilet. I just can't. During immersion in the mountains where they only had a hole on the ground for a toilet, I held it in for three days. You can imagine it was heaven the moment I got to my own toilet at home.
As stated above, I don't sing well but I know the lyrics of a lot of songs by heart and I have quite an extensive repertoire from Bread, David Pomeranz (oo!), Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Eminem, Rihanna, Usher, Nirvana, Bon Jovi, Incubus (I know almost ALL), Red Hot Chili Peppers, and even Gary Valenciano songs. If it is or was popular, I probably know it.
I have a kind of addictive personality, but not in the sense of substance abuse. If I (really) like Justin Bieber, expect me to know a lot about him beyond the basic stuff (he was born on March 1, has 3 tattoos, likes giving Selena Gomez foot rubs, etc). I can listen to just one song all week, spend days watching YouTube videos of my favorite band of the moment, know everything about my favorite F1 driver, not to mention SUBSCRIBE to and read F1 Racing magazine from cover to cover. I even took time to 'study' F1 technology so I can explain aerodynamics from the rear wing (?). Although when it comes to F1 technology, I can pretty much make up stuff and no one will know. Hehe
After graduating in 2004, I really didn't want to start working yet, but mom always pushed me to go out there and find a job. So to create an impression that I was 'job hunting', there were days when I woke up early, dressed up for interviews with a clear folder in hand containing my resume, rode with dad to work and waited for the mall to open so I can watch 2 - 3 movies in between window shopping then ride back home with dad. I did that almost every Wednesday, when Glorietta used to show Art Films in Cinema 4. After a few days, I'd tell Mom I didn't like the jobs that I applied for so we should wait a little longer. FACT.
I was one of the few people in school to own a Nokia 5110 in highschool. Because it was prohibited in school, we'd hide our mobile phones inside the tank of one of the broken toilets in the ladies' room and we took frequent restroom breaks to text.
I was smart enough to get good (read: outstanding) grades in Elementary and Highschool, but had to hire a Math tutor in college because my first ever advisory grade in Ateneo was an F. My math tutor had copies of the exam booklets the previous year which he used to review me for the current year. Advice to teachers: don't merely change the variables and the names. Finished freshman year with a B+! (kakahiya namang i-perfect)
Most of the closest friends I have are ones who I survived major fights with. I think maintaining a close group of friends for more than decades is a good sign and surviving major fights means we've seen and gotten past the worst of each other.
I'm more of a beer person than a wine person. I prefer vodka over scotch and Patron over Cuervo. I have NEVER tasted Red Horse beer.
I need music to concentrate. Even when I was younger, I'd always turn the radio on or tune in to MTV while studying. Then I was given a walkman. Then a discman. And now, an iPod. I'm also not comfortable driving without playing music in the car.
I do not like Dinuguan. The smell of it makes me want to regurgitate. I also don't eat liver except if it's in the form of a spread / foie gras. I don't like the texture, taste and smell. Ironic because that's probably the internal organ that I abuse the most.
I love writing. I can better express myself through writing except when drunk. I can better express myself through speaking when I'm drunk. I can deliver an Any Given Sunday type of speech when I'm drunk.
I used to not like the smell of donuts. I'm okay with them now, but donuts are not the type of food that I crave for or randomly buy at the mall. I'm not a donut person.
I don't drink coffee just because most of the time, I get a mild headache after drinking coffee. I'm not even sure if it's caused by the coffee. I also don't see the effect of caffeine on me -- it does not keep me awake.
In spite of my to-do list, which is longer than the Golden Gate Bridge, here I am taking on another challenge. I've seen a lot of people do this online and to celebrate the first of August, I decided to embark on this challenge myself just to see if I can actually keep up.
It's called the 30-day blog challenge where the blogger (me) is supposed to blog for 30 days straight. There's a pre-determined list of topics to follow. So for the next 30 days, I will be blogging about:
Day 0: The 30 Day Challenge Explanation and Description Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name Day 3: Your first love Day 4: Your parents Day 5: A song to match your mood Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy Day 7: Favorite movies Day 8: A place you've traveled to Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend Day 10: Something you're afraid of Day 11: Favorite tv shows Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without Day 13: Goals Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed? Day 15: Bible verse Day 16: Dream house Day 17: Something you're looking forward to Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat Day 19: Something you miss Day 20: Nicknames Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why? Day 22: What's in your purse? Day 23: Favorite Movie Day 24: Something you've learned Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs Day 26: Your Dream Wedding Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in Day 28: Something that stresses you out Day 29: 3 Wishes Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge