Thursday, July 14, 2011

When It's Too Late to Apologize

I've never been a gifted liar. Actually, NO. Screw that. I can be a really good liar, except to the people who know me well. I don't think I'm even capable of masking my feelings, my eyes and smile betray me most of the time - at least to those who know.

There are moments, mornings after, when you wish you could take back time and do things differently. I know myself and I admit that I have the tendency to cross the lines, hit below the belt and what not, but it's usually not until hours after, when I look back on the things that transpired, that I begin to wonder if I went a little overboard.

Then guilt manifests itself. It's not so much the thought of what was done or said, but more of the fact that someone was probably offended, moreso if it's someone that I value.  An apology is the quickest fix - after all, people who care about each other (friends, family, whoever) wouldn't be able to stay angry at each other for long periods. Then again, it's all about timing. If an apology is in order, I believe it has to be done at once and not a few hours later. Apologizing also has that risk of making a big deal of what could be otherwise to the other party, because after all, this guilt could be nothing but a result of overthinking or overanalyzing.

For some people, apologizing doesn't always mean literally saying sorry. Sorry is just a word -- it's what you do with the realization that you're at fault which will count.  Aplogizing could be in a form of making up for the offense by being a better person, a better friend, without ever having to say it out loud.  People will see the effort, and sometimes, that's even better than saying sorry and not meaning it.