Wednesday, February 22, 2012

My name is Tom. Tom PETTY.

There is value in opening up to the right people. Or at least people who will give you the same listening ear that you offer to them.

After a heartfelt conversation, I told someone to not apologize for pouring himself out to me, and that he can return the favor when I get the chance to do the same (meaning, pour my heart out, talk about my issues and let emotions rule).  To which he replied, "What? eh yang mga issue mo naman petty eh... like gusto mo pumuntang Boracay o whatever. Mag-asawa ka muna, mag-anak at makipaghiwalay ka sa asawa mo then we'll talk."

Ok. I acknowledge that I can be a brat. I can be petty. I don't know as much of the world as those who have piled on the years ahead of me. I make an issue out of needing to go to my happy place (Boracay, not Bora) or submerging my favorite Converse sneaks in a puddle of mud, having to deal with dirty restrooms and warm beer.  I don't know how it feels like to be separated from my spouse. Heck, I don't know how it feels like to have a spouse. I don't have children and I don't know how tough it is to be a single parent. 

BUT I have a mother with a terminal medical condition. At some point in the day the thought of losing ANOTHER loved one in a snap scares the shit out of me but I couldn't call home because I don't want to know.  I can't describe how it feels to see my mother cheat death over and over again. This is an old issue for our family and it's been going on for years. I'd understand if some people who've been hearing about it for quite a while eventually get tired of it.  For us, though, this causes a dire strain in the heart. It fucks up the mind. And going to the beach provides a respite from that. Watching a concert. Drinking beer. WORKING. All the petty stuff I do.

My point is what's petty to you may not be petty to me and that's fine. I understand that some people can relate to certain levels of petty while some carry greater... what do we call them? Burdens? As it is, I really don't open up to people much. When I think about it, most of the time, I actually listen more than talk.  There are a few friends I really open up to beyond the pettiness and perhaps the reason why I open up to them is because no matter how shallow or deep, significant or insignificant, these people have never looked at my issues as any less important or unworthy of drama.

This doesn't mean that just because someone sees me as petty I'll stop lending an ear to that person, too. I won't. If a friend is indeed a friend to me, I don't see their issues as petty because I recognize that everyone, regardless of age, has their own crosses to bear. And I know that even if I don't really know a thing or two about what they're going through sometimes, allowing them to pour their hearts out to a willing ear helps even a bit. I know that because my friends do that for me, too.

There. I just wanted to express what I really think dot com. And maybe this exact same post can be used as another example of why I'm petty.

I don't care. I'll be in Boracay by tomorrow!