Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I like friends who, when you tell them you need a moment alone, know enough not to stray too far.

It's true what they say: you'll find out who your real friends are in times of need. I am grateful to be surrounded by a bunch of people who genuinely love and care for me as I grieve the passing away of my mother. These are the people who rushed to my side on the first night of my mother's death even when I told them I'll be fine. These are the people who, without thinking twice, took a 45-minute joyride from the north to have coffee with me at 10 pm on the first night after the burial because they know that's when I'm going to start feeling the brunt. They know me too well. They know me well enough to know that the thought of them nearby would be enough to comfort me.

These are the people who went out of their way to be with me even if I wasn't asking for anything. Even if I couldn't sit with them at the wake, they would be there each night, for 2-4 hours to show support. These are the people who thought less of what a hassle it would be for them to make an extra effort for me. I feel so loved. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord, for these people.

On the other hand, there were also some people who I thought would be at my side through most of the ordeal but were not. I had a wrong impression of my value to them. It manifested in the things they said and did and didn't do. The sad thing is, I make an extra effort for these people. I go to them, even if it means driving far away from the south, because I know that they'd need someone to hang with. Someone to be there for them no matter how trivial the conversations turn out. One of them even pointed out that he/she will go if there's beer... Or if there's a new restaurant to try, just to make the trip down south worth it. Really? I'm not needy. This is a rare period in my life and one of the few times when I also want it to be about me, and not just the beer.

You see giant proclamations are all very well, but love and true friendship are louder than words. In my world, expensive, material things easily get trumped by the simple gesture of just. being. here.

And I'm grateful to know how much I matter to most of the people who matter to me.