There's a fruitcake for everybody.

The band made it obvious that they preferred to minimize the drama on this one. No media coverage of the rehearsals and soundchecks, no publicized accounts of their first meeting, who was first to arrive, who was first to agree, who said what first, what was the first song they played during the first rehearsal... none of the big brother type sentimental garb on TV. The members themselves gave updates in their 'other bands' mailing lists and that was it. Just the music. For the fans. Quoting Raymund Marasigan, "Drums, not drama."

I looked forward to this event ever since I found out about it in the Internet but I almost didn't get the chance to see them live. My mom was confined in the hospital, she's recovering and we weren't sure when she's going to be discharged. So when we were told that she can already go home late Saturday afternoon, I dragged my sister in my last minute efforts to get tickets (thought I'd have a hard time just like I always did for the UAAP but turned out, the ticket supply for this was bottomless), and drove fast and furious from our house to The Fort. Parking sucked, by the way. Super sucked. Took me at least 20 minutes of going around until I decided to just park on the curb at the right side of High Street. There was no sign that I couldn't park in the area, they had no reason to tow. And what the heck, I didn't want to miss the opening. Other cars followed, too, and soon, there were more than twenty on that strip.

I didn't know what to expect of them sound-wise knowing that they hadn't played together in years. I saw them play when I was younger and I always said that they sounded better on CD than live. It seemed that, individually since the break-up, all of them have grown into better musicians, their skills honed through the years but as a collective, there were moments of uncertainty, perhaps each of them were really overwhelmed. And then there were also moments when they played and sounded really good like never before. There were no traces of Pupil or Sandwich or even Cambio.

Occasionally, though, in between songs, there's the uncomfortable silence when we just wished they said something or talked to each other. After several of those uncomfortable gaps, it kind of became very clear that their wounds have not truly healed. It was as if they still felt awkward about this but you could tell, just by looking at them play their instruments, that they were every bit excited as the rest of us. In true Eheads fashion, they looked cool about it, making it look like it's no big deal. Sometimes, the aloof frontman just smiled and let the crowd do the singing. Towards the end of the first set, though, we already noticed that Ely Buendia kind of lost the energy. I didn't see clearly but I remember him sitting down with his head bowed, resting on his guitar. At one point after he stood up, the camera focused on his pale face to which my overreacting friend shouted... Ohmygod! umiyak sha! Haha ano ka ba.

I usually don't like watching concerts in open grounds. Arena rock sets (as in Araneta) are okay for foreign bands. For local bands, I like intimate venues better but of course this was an exception, meant to be enjoyed with tens of thousands.

The set-up was reminiscent of European rock festivals. Free-standing, no chairs. We chose to stay at the back where we can roam around freely and not worry about personal space, after all, we just wanted to be there. Sorry but the eheads aren't really eye-candy for us. haha again.

They allowed smoking but didn't sell alcohol, at least where we were. Safety measures, perhaps... they allowed beer in the Incubus concert but didn't allow it here. So we just settled for hotdogs, Sunkist Iced Tea and Gatorade during the break.

While walking around, I got to hang out with eraserfans Mario and Tricia during the break. This photo was taken just minutes before they called it off (the band, not the couple). Sad it had to end that way but at least, all's well now. To be honest, Ely Buendia had every right to ask for another date and postpone the show but he chose not to. He's very professional in doing that, too bad his body didn't agree.

It was the biggest reunion concert in the Philippines, with four of the biggest rockstars getting back together for just one night. They had intended a 20minute break and during the lull, no less than the frontman was whisked away in an ambulance, abruptly putting a halt to the greatest rock act in Manila. How's that for no drama.

They really played their hearts out last night and although it ended unexpectedly, we're truly, truly grateful that they listened to their fans, set aside their differences, and got back together to bring the music :-). It's Lurve.

"The Eraserheads Reunion: One More Time." Yey.

Where are you going?

I'm so totally confused right now. I'm living in my head and I wish someone would just give me the answers, tell me what to do or at least help me figure out what to make of whatever's bothering me. I just hate NOT KNOWING how to deal and I'm so tired of thinking and thinking and thinking, and it's not like I could stop the thoughts from entering my head.



I know I'm being very vague here. You can ask me when you see me, I just might tell you. :o



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In other news...



Someone leaked the draft of the first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun, otherwise known as Twilight in Edward Cullen's perspective (Twilight itself is in Bella Swan's POV), and the author is really pissed because the book's not even done yet. She's very upset that she put off finishing the book and announced that it's on hold indefinitely.



Since it was already leaked online, she eventually posted the leaked version in her website for the Twilight fans. At least that will prevent people from making a profit out of it and at least now I have something to focus my attention on. Hopefully, I'll get my fill of the Cullens and take my mind off whatever it is that I'm thinking about right now (see above).



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Currently listening to:

Where are you going - Dave Matthews Band

Narrow Stairs

It's amazing how life kinda speaks to you in so many ways. Sometimes, messages are hidden somewhere and they kind of catch you by surprise and then you realize that it does have some meaning to you. Perhaps it was written in a totally different context but you feel like it was meant for you. Or probably not.

Today, I was searching the net for new music, reading album reviews from who-knows-whose blogs and band updates on Facebook. I was never a fan of Death Cab for Cutie but I saw that a review of their album was one of the most read on Pitchfork and I decided to read along (okay, that's more because I'm a sucker for useless information just 'for the sake of knowing'). ANYWAY (oh, that word), a part of this particular paragraph I read twice:

Narrow Stairs, Death Cab's second album for Atlantic and sixth proper LP overall, is one of the darkest and most muscular in the band's discography, but they're still aiming for the same place: your heart. It's an album about growing and changing and becoming resigned to the fact that you'll never be truly content-- not even if you quit that day job, achieve your rock'n'roll dreams, and find yourself in a loving marriage.

Hahaha WHUT. Note to self: Grab new DCFC album on the next trip to the music store and find out if this is something that can be recommended to friends undergoing Quarter Life Crisis.

Do or Die.

There are certain experiences that change a person forever such as losing loved ones, losing a battle or failing at something. And then there are also those little moments of realization, the ones that teach a lesson, the ones that leave a mark. The realization begins with acceptance - admitting to myself that I let the situation get the better of me, that I fell short, that I wasn't able to think clearly at crunch time because my mind was messing with me, that I could've done it but didn't. And then I'd look at the brighter side and realize that everything that just happened was meant to teach me a lesson, and more than that, it allowed me discover something about myself. I know we tried really hard but we kind of just totally missed out on something there. Had we looked hard enough, the solution was just right there and we would have spared ourselves one full day of trouble. I gave up so easily.

It's just so difficult to live up to expectations. On one hand, there are the expectations of people who think they deserve the best service, quality work... whoever's assigned there, me or someone else, should just deliver. There are also the expectations of people who put me in place. They'd always say there's no pressure but that's just impossible. Freakin' impossible. And lastly, my own expectations. I think I expect too much from myself and maybe that's a good thing. However, that's also what destroys me, when I think that I'm not meeting my own expectations I get very frustrated.

My philosophy has always been that teamwork isn't just a mere collective effort. It's not only about people working together, holding hands and rising above the odds. It's also about the individual effort that each member puts through, the commitment and the contribution.

This experience also showed me what a good leader is really like. He's someone who always says that he won't hold our hands but always shows up when the going gets tough, shows us how it's done, helps us see ourselves more clearly in moments of self-doubt and carries us, his team, on his shoulders in times of desperation when we think all hope is lost (and it has happened so many times).

So the simple answer to the question, "bakit hindi niyo naisip yon?" is: kasi hindi kami kasing galing mo.

Every basketball team needs a clutch shooter, and a very, very strategic and unwavering coach in do or die games. I remember how it felt like one time, in an important Ateneo game, during the last few seconds the crowd stood still, stunned and defeated. Ateneo was about to lose. We only needed the buzzer to confirm it. Then the coach called a time out. Ateneo was one point behind, one second to go. There's just one second left in the clock but Norman Black believed that Ateneo can do it. It wasn't over for him and the team. Next thing we knew, we were crying tears of Joy.

Vitamin

The thing is, I'll never tell you the things you want to hear. I'm not that kind of person. I'll tell it like it is, lay down the options and see how we can work from there. You don't just put people down even before the battle has ended. If you think that results matter to you, then at least you could've waited for the results before writing people off. I think that in times of crisis, it's best to address the issue at hand first before blaming it on others. Oh wait... I didn't think that. Everybody KNOWS that already. Oh wait... not everybody. Just the smart ones.

Honestly, I agree that we may have fallen short on some accounts. SOME of your points are probably valid. I can live with that. And I admit it.... But if you expect me to get down on my knees to ask for forgiveness, I won't do that. Once is enough but you won't hear it from me unless I really realize that I had to say it and mean it. In this case, I don't feel I owe it to you. I didn't sit on my ass the whole fucking day and waited for the Guava to fall from the tree. I planted the tree and nurtured it until it bore fruit. Pero ayaw naman natin ng hilaw. So tinawag namin ni Juan si Pedro para magdala ng fertilizer, baka sakaling mahinog agad. Shempre tumawag din kami sa poong maykapal. Natagalan lang mahinog, pero nahinog din, diba? Magaling ang fertilizer ni Pedro. So, pinitas ko na. And the thing is, di naman namin kinain. Binigay namin sayo, you dimwit. Kainin mo yang guava mo. (haha ang labo!)

More than the complaints and shortcomings whathaveyou, what I hate most was the way you made us. WE felt like shit next to you. You made us doubt ourselves. To think that you were the one who encouraged me, treated me to a drink and we had a lengthy conversation about needs, wants, career... you asked about my bosses, colleagues and all that. You said you got your eyes on me and that you believed in me. I guess now you don't.

If you think I failed you, well... you failed me, too, because I believed in you, too. PAST TENSE, take note. Yan. I usually don't harbor ill-feelings. You'd probably crack a joke that I'll find funny and that will break the ice. But then again, I'm aaaaahfraahaiiiid.... that izzz tooo late to apologihiiiiize.



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You stare at me like a vitamin
On the surface you hate, but you know you need me
I'll come dressed as any pill you deem fit
Whatever helps you swallow truth all the more easily.

NOT.GOOD.

Honestly, it didn't live up to its hype and it's so disappointing that it didn't have the smashing ending that we all expected. I think the author was so bent on pleasing people, giving what the fans want, and just tying the loose ends. In the end, it felt like the book was just written for the heck of it. Just because the author promised Book 4 and she wanted to resolve everything.

I think the problem is that the characters kind of lost their 'soul' in this book. Where's Edward? Edward was barely there. He played supporting role instead of leading man. What the hell happened to him? Where's the Edward we fell in love with in Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse? Bella Swan, lead character - the damsel in distress - ended up the strongest vampire who saved them all which is absurd. And I thought Stephenie Meyer was going to put a great deal in her transition from mortal to immortal but that was uneventful. What happened to Dartmouth? Wedding and honeymoon? Yes. And I guess that if it weren't for that part, I would have demanded a refund. Don't get me wrong, though. There's nothing explicit here, after all, it's still young adult fiction.

Carlisle Cullen is the leader of the coven. If anything is supposed to happen to them, he's the one who's expected to step up and even him got sidelined in this one. Ugggggh. Parang last minute, the antagonists just decided that okay... let's not kill them muna. and then the book ends. No action! Nothing.

The resolution was like the 'everything just fell into place' concept. All of a sudden everything's just right. No struggle for Bella Swan. No conflict, no sacrifices. Nothing. The universe conspired to make everything right. 700+ pages of nothingness. I hate it. And despite the focus on resolution, still didn't answer everything... Did Renee ever find out about her granddaughter? Who's the philandering Quileute? Why did J. Jenks exist? If you took out the chapters with him in it, it wouldn't even matter.

In short, ampanget talaga at tinatamad nako magsulat about it. They could've ended it with Eclipse. and for me, in my mind, there are no four books. As far as I know, Twilight is a trilogy. That's it.

I miss them!

Can't wait for the new episodes in September!