Argh. I hate this feeling.

Subconscious, why??!

The Oscars is happening at the moment...

...and I couldn't stop listening to this song while staring at James Franco's face!!! I love you!!!

 

If you're one of us then roll with us.

I guess people really do have a tendency to scrutinize every move made by the government and some of them have become so disgruntled over the years that they don't realize that instead of constructive criticism, they actually try to find fault immediately.

So the government announced a new domestic tourism advocacy campaign a couple of weeks back and as expected, there were varied reactions but most of them were not favorable coming off of a total disaster which revealed how a logo was plagiarized from another country's tourism board.

The new campaign title and slogan is meant as a call to action for Filipinos to travel the Philippines and contribute to the economy by spurring domestic tourism.  It's pretty easy to grasp when you actually know the idea behind it (handle, big idea, whatever the fuck you call it, fool).

But apparently, it's very hard for some people to comprehend anything, be it in English or Tagalog. This comment is my favorite simply because it makes me feel better about myself.

Ikaw na. Ikaw na ang magaling!!!

And you're not one of us, so in short, hindi ka kasama sa mga niyayayang maglakbay dito sa Pilipinas o saan man sa mundo.

who doesn't get it?!

Argh. Can you really take someone who has "slut" in her Twitter username seriously?

Must. get. immune. to. this. because. I. am. not. me.

Obviously, I think I'll be back on blogger more often now. It's not like I can rant about these things "there".

This is still my emotional dumpsite. No less than 140 characters.

I'm schizophrenic

So... this is how it feels like to manage two personalities.

I never thought I'd get enough of Twitter but it's becoming like iniinit na ulam to me... I ate it na last night, it's still my breakfast, lunch, merienda, dinner and midnight snack.

Confession: I almost made a mistake of posting a sarcastic #nowplaying entry through the OTHER account. Shets. Haha

Oh, you're right. Thanks.

It's one of those days, eh?

Hnnnnnnngrh.

Album of the Year, Seriously?!

I consider myself a sort of music junkie, at least a bit more than the regular Joe, and it beats me that I have never heard of The Suburbs or their album, Arcade Fire, until it was announced at The Grammys that they won Album of the Year.  Seriously, who the hell are these guys? And I just saw some videos on YouTube now and I'm really wondering if they're really worthy of a Grammy.

Did they rig it? I'm not leaning towards pop most of the time but I feel that Eminem should've won it this year (with Katy Perry and Lady Gaga as close contenders).  What I used to complain about The Grammys is its tendency towards popularity that it fails to highlight the artistry in the music.  I kind of feared that Justin Bieber would win Best New Artist (but he didn't, thank God). I was rooting for Florence and the Machine, which also didn't win, but I'm fine with the winner.

But, ARCADE FIRE? Who the hell are The Suburbs?! Usually, the winner of Album of the Year is known by everyone -- because it's Album of the Friggin' Year.  Oh, and apparently, I'm not alone: WHO IS ARCADE FIRE?

Now, remind me to not take The Grammys seriously.

Thanks.

Hearts Day?!?

I've been asked many times over who's my date tonight. No one. And if they knew me well enough, they'd know that even if I were in a relationship, nothing will happen on Valentine's Day because I'm corny and baduy like that.

Unless he works for close-up and we'd be obliged to participate in that lovapalooza thing.

Which is still, like, eeew to me.

Shucks I forgot to wear earrings today.

My thumbs are itching...

but I can do this. I have something to prove and I will prove it. In 160 characters or less. Or right, none at all.

.....

Homaygad I think I know na what this is.

Hormonal imbalance! I haven't had it for a while that I might have forgotten what it's like.

I thought about this when I realized... why the hell am I listening to slow songs?! Slow as in I've got Katy Perry's Thinking of You on loop and it's not even applicable or in context - meaning the song holds no personal meaning.

In some instances when my estrogen levels are low, I'm usually irritable but I'm not. So now I guess I'm like... in a funk.

I kind of kept to myself in my room all day watching movies, sleeping or reading a book  (except when it was time for dinner).

I know of friends who'd be in a funk and post emo statuses and tweets, one of them temporarily deactivated her Facebook for a week, another deleted her twitter account then created another one after 5 days, someone drove all the way up to Tagaytay to coffee at the Cliff by herself, and here I am questioning life.

Tss. Female hormones.

---

For fast-acting relief: Try Slowing Down

We say 'mind over matter' if we want to concentrate or control something in belief that the mind is more powerful than the body, but I also think that sometimes we also need to mind the matter and not abuse our bodies.  After quite a hectic week, I'm having a steady Saturday night at home for two reasons: one, because I think I need to slow down and two, because my dad said so. Hahaha couldn't really argue with that (he needed me to stay with mom tonight since my sister is in Subic and he has a golf event to attend).

I mentioned this on twitter and I mention this here again: Nobody can beat you up as much as you can beat yourself up in your own mind. The problem with people who think too much is that they're never satisfied.

There's a sort of paradigm shift that's happening here. Before, I used to say that I like going with the flow, living in the present and not knowing what's going to happen in the future. It's one of those bizarre days when the mood is like bleh, I'm staring on a leaf being blown away from the pavement, when it hit me: Am I supposed to just go with the flow? Isn't that akin to complacency? Should I be doing something about... something?  How do I make life a little less ordinary? So I'm doing what I'm doing now and then???  

And this is not just a question about work and the future, but life in its entirety. People are born into the world, grow up, go to school, go to work, get married, have children, have grandchildren and die. And then?  Wouldn't it be easier to have nothing instead? No higher being, no universe, no planets, no people... nothing. If there's nothing, then there's nothing. (aaaaaaaah!!!! Nagmemeron ako, lalong lumalabo!)

Anyway, going back to "going with the flow", the challenge here is that I don't know what I want. Just like choosing a restaurant for lunch, unless there's a strong craving, I'm pretty much okay with anything. And I'm okay. Not cloud-nine happy or sad. Just fine. I'm in that space between.  And when people ask me if I'm happy, I kind of say yes and that's because I'm not sad. I do what I do because I can do it and I do it because I'm committed to it, but I don't think I'm intrinsically motivated (like a director's passion for film, a singer's passion for music). Where there is no love, it becomes a routine mechanical exercise. Or maybe I'm intrinsically motivated but I don't know it?

Then again, this is probably a result of thinking too much. Sometimes we expect too highly of ourselves that we become unreasonably concerned (or something like that), and make a fuss out of something that we shouldn't be worrying about.  All this restlessness plaguing the youth!

If this is the right hand (hold it up in front of you) and this is the left hand (do the same), how does a hand that's neither right or left look?

Question.

This is probably the sort of stuff that can be resolved in Boracay, because for some reason, that place makes everything alright.

social media usage?

Facebook asks us, "What's on your mind?" and we post what's happening. Twitter asks, "What's happening?" and we tweet about what's on our minds.

This is not to say we're better than you because there's no need to state the obvious.

What you don't realize, FOOL, is that you wasted our friggin' time. I knew instantly that you weren't worth it. You weren't worth my USD 250 rate per hour.

You are a fucking fool. You are so a fucking fool that one day you'll look back at that moment, that very moment when you gave it to me as I was traversing the length of skyway all the way to Filinvest, and regret it. I didn't have it in me then, and you were fuckin' lucky that I didn't have it in me to make you realize explicitly what a fucking fool you are. Well, maybe I did but you were so fucking stupid that you didn't get the drift.

When that moment comes - maybe not tomorrow, not next week, maybe not even the next few months - but it will come, I tell you, and I'm so fucking sure you won't know it. You won't know what friggin' hit you because like I said, you're a fuckin' fool.

And God bless you. God bless you because when he showered the world with intelligence and smartness and common sense and whatever you call it, I'm so fucking sure you were not there.

You, moron, should look out for that moment... That very moment when your loose ass gets fucked for real. I say loose because you've probably been fucked well a number of times.

And you are about to get the fuck of your lifetime.

And it's going to be

LEGEN... FUCKING... Wait for it...

DARY.