Saging lang ang may puso!

This will go down as one of the most ridiculous lines ever delivered in a Filipino action movie... Even my 10-year old cousins can do better!

Love-driven leadership

A few months ago, a friend sent this quote to me about leadership just when I was beginning to learn to be one. And I agree with everything the author said. When you become a leader, what you do is not as important as who you are.

A person can grow two ways: horizontally and vertically. Horizontal growth is when you broaden your horizons, meet new people, learn new things and widen your network. Vertical growth is when you advance spiritually and this is where happiness and contentment play a big part. When you learn to appreciate the good things in life, the blessings you have, you tend to move to a higher level of existence. And this vertical growth is further amplified in leaders because when you become a leader, you are exposed to the opportunity to allow others to advance through you. And when they do, you'll feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that transcends all rewards and recognition.

What distinguishes love-driven leaders from tyrants? Great affection coupled with the passion to see others run at full speed towards perfection. Love-driven leadership is not urging others forward without concern for their aspirations, well-being, or personal needs. Nor is it being the nice guy manager who overlooks underperformance that could damage a subordinate's long-term prospects.

Instead, love-driven leaders hunger to see latent potential blossom and to help it happen. In more prosaic terms, how do children, students, athletes, or employees achieve their full potential? When they're parented, taught, coached or managed by those who engender trust, provide support and encouragement, uncover potential, and set high standards.

-Chris Lowney
HEROIC LEADERSHIP
(Best practices from a 450-year old company that changed the world: The Society of Jesus)

And I'm still learning to be one.

caught in the undertow

Sometimes, some people just don't understand. There are certain situations in life where you just have to learn to RESPOND, not REACT.





It's happening all over again, but this, too, shall pass.

I, (no) stupid driver

Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m a stupid driver. Last Thursday night I was driving home from Gweilos and for the first time ever, I met a car accident. I was nearly completing my turn to the gas station when... bam. Another car bumped us at the rear. The driver was probably going so fast I thought my sister, who was on the passenger’s side, almost broke her neck. The vibration was just too strong, good thing we have quite a sturdy car. He clearly didn’t see me as I was making the turn. And I also admit I didn’t notice him because his headlights were off. It wasn’t so bad. Actually, I just got a dent on the bumper and some scratches on the right tail light. What irked me was the reaction of the man driving the other car. He totally lost it! He got out of his car and shouted curses at me.

I was so shocked (it was the first time that this happened with me behind the wheel). I forgot all the things that my dad had told me to do when I encounter this situation. I wasn’t supposed to move the car from the scene even when there was already a line of stalled cars behind us and park it properly in the gas station. I was supposed to wait for an investigator to arrive and take photos or make a sketch, and I wasn’t supposed to get out of the car and listen to the man, who looked like he was in his late 20s, shouting at me and telling me how foolish I was for taking the turn too soon while he was trying to coerce the gas boys and the security guards into believing that it was my fault. The thought of my parents getting all mad and upset about the whole incident was the least of my worries. I knew they wouldn’t take it against me and that we had a comprehensive insurance. What worried me was that people might actually believe that he was right and I was wrong.

Because I moved the car from where it happened, the man accused me of trying to cover up my mistake; that I didn’t want it to be proven that I was speeding and I cut him. The whole time he was yelling and wailing at how stupid I was (babae kasi) and how hassle it was (his headlight was broken), I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t think about what to do, what to say or how to rebut because: a) I super badly needed to go to the loo for number one, and b) I needed to beat closing time since I need to get stuff from Shopwise to bring to my trip to Boracay the next day. So I just leaned on my car, my back on the left window, stared at the light post until his ramblings became ambient noise, and waited for someone to come and get the details and assess the situation. I kinda zoned out. And on impulse, I ran to the washroom. He must’ve thought I was insane standing there unaffected; not speaking to him or even looking at him and then dashing to the restroom.

I came back calm and collected even though the guy was so furious to the point of profanity. The fact that he had a big body and was really angry didn’t scare me. I just found it so low to even retaliate. I thought the security guards had already called an investigator or the police but apparently, the nearest station was under renovation and the phone lines were busted. So I asked the irate man to calm down and offered to settle. I said we should just take care of having our own cars repaired and spare us both the hassle and inconvenience (magsasarado yung Shopwise!). But he continued cursing and didn’t want to listen to me. He wanted me to give him money for the repair of his old, beaten car (!). Fortunately, my sister had the presence of mind to call my dad who was in a driving range in Filinvest, just some five minutes away from the gas station. In a few minutes, my dad arrived with a couple of his friends. I was so relieved because I knew my dad would handle it for me. He was always the peacemaker. Upon seeing my dad and his friends though, the man seemed to calm down. It’s either he was happy to be finally talking to men and not the stupid girl driver or he was intimidated by my dad and his crew.

My dad took the same line: to have the cars repaired on our own. But the man didn’t agree. At some point, my dad was already willing to pay just to end it but I didn’t allow him. Why should we pay the price of something that wasn’t even my doing? No fucking way. Money wasn’t the issue. Pride was. I needed to hold my ground. Eventually, we saw that it was useless to stay there trying to compromise when the other party was obviously not willing. So we just stopped talking, got in the car and left the man standing there. He didn’t chase us.

And I made it to Shopwise.

Celebrity look-alikes

Picked this up from someone else's blog. Good thing they just need headshots. Otherwise...

Obviously, I used an old photo. (heheh)

http://www.myheritage.com

I'm not really bored

I think I just can't keep still for longer periods of time. When I do this, it doesn't really mean that I've drifted. I'm still listening to the conversation, mindful of what's happening. I just need an outlet. It's therapeutic for me, actually. And it's not ADHD. ADHD is worse.

Exhibit A shows my doodles on a tissue paper while on a meeting with some clients. Someone asked what I'll do with this piece of trash (or work of art) when I'm done. Nothing. It will go to the waste bin. But for it to have a purpose, I posted it on this blog so I could show people how restless I am. Haha

Looking back

Reunions are always the perfect time to reconnect with your past and remember the good times. Recently, I went to a college block reunion (one of the few ones I willingly attended) and am amazed to find out that not much has changed. It's just like yesterday when we graduated. Everyone looked quite the same, save for the goody goodies who have acquired vices (so now they understand the reasons for frequent restroom breaks and meetings in the pocket gardens).

It's great to find out that most of us are quite happy where we are now - pursuing the same path we thought we'd take in college. We're all in the same industry, though differing in fields. Two of my blockmates are DJs, two are helping out with their family businesses, one is finishing her masteral degree, one is in film production, and another in TV prod. Most are in advertising and I'm the only one in PR. They were surprised. They always thought I'd become a clown or comedian. I couldn't remember what the rest did... (sorry, short term memory loss!)

College was fun (x 10 million times). It was when I felt most free and at the same time responsible. Imagine living in a condo with five highschool friends (the eliazo dorm wasn't an option- we didn't want to deal with curfews and guardians; bedspacing wasn't an option either - it's not really fun to live with people you don't know). The freedom was overwhelming. Suddenly, nobody told me what to do, when to eat, what to eat, that I should sleep, take a bath... on the downside, though, nobody cooked. Breakfast wasn't ready when I awoke and there was no dinner when I went home. During the first few months, we'd clean our 'home' religiously. We swept the floor every other night, defrosted the fridge every other week, washed the dishes as used (among other things) but eventually, we found more things to do and had not much time for housekeeping. So our house helpers took turns every weekend to do the cleaning (especially the bathroom because this is one of my pet peeves). For the first time in our lives, we were managing our household. We bought furniture, scheduled the 'servicing' of the airconditioner, stocked up on groceries, hired plumbers to fix the clogs, cooked (and got burns), changed light bulbs, and endured black outs (condo's generators only serviced the main halls and common areas). My housemates and I, although we've known each other for more than 8 years having attended primary and secondary school together, had developed an even deeper relationship because in our little household, we only had each other. When I'd go home late or leave early, when I'm not eating dinner at 'home', I'd have to send a message to four other people.

I was sleep-deprived, especially throughout the last two college years. A typical day for me started around 8:30 am (I joined the reg committee so I can control my schedule). I lazed around, watched TV, looked for something to eat, reviewed my notes. I went to school around 10. Classes ended around 5. I hung out in school some more, went home around 6 p.m., slept, woke up around 9. Then the comm duo picked me up (and whoever wanted to join) and we either saw a movie in Rockwell or had some drinks along Katipunan. Home around 2, opened my notes and studied a bit... go to sleep by 4 or 5... but it was all good. I had to justify the costs of living in a condo by studying hard. This motivated me to excel more and to learn to balance my school and social life.

We had a penchant for unconventional gifts back then. When someone turned 18, we didn't want to give her something we bought from the mall or wherever. It had to be something totally unique. So for the first debutant, I got her a cone. Not an ice cream cone or just any other cone. It was one of those orange cones they use to line up the roads or as markers in parking areas. I snatched one of them one evening in the Meralco offices along Ortigas avenue and spray painted my message. For some reason, it ended up like an 'exclusive' gift, something like a coat of arms for elite families. If you get one on your debut, you're automatically initiated in an exclusive circle of friendship (now, that's really silly!). So, my friends and I got cones (got - in tagalog, nenok) from Greenbelt (the parking lots were new then, and so the cones were bright and shiny), Skyway, and the most expensive one I got from Mandarin Hotel when my friend dared me in my drunken stupor (unlike the others which are made of plastic, this one is rubberized). But that was several years ago. If you dare me to take one now, I'd probably chicken out.

Looking back, I know I had so much fun. And I may never ever have the chance to do all the crazy things I did so I'm glad I made the most out of my time in college.

As an entertainment columnist puts it: The best things in life are not things. :-)

What I want...

The long road trip to Nueva Ecija last Saturday got me thinking about the things I want in life. At that moment, it's pretty simple. I want...

chorizo wraps and poor man's bread soup at Gaudi
ceasar salad and smoked ox tounge at Mezze
lamb gyros and flaming cheese at Cyma
spicy pumpkin curry soup and creme brulee trio (not taken together) at M Cafe
onion rings and victorian style steak at Outback
Tom Yam and Go Pad Thai from Som's
Pork Brothers at Gram's Diner
pinaputok na kesong puti and tawilis at Masas
baked salmon from Conti's
chai latte at Coffee Bean
caramelized chicken and pomelo salad from Pho Hoa
sisig rice at Gweilos
mom's kare - kare
mom's spaghetti
lola's callos
tita patti's lengua
tita patti's apple pie (killer)
chicken McNuggets
Wendy's Shrimp Salad burger
Jr. Whopper (junior lang talaga)
Taters bbq popcorn and sour cream dip


I could go on and on.... that was a long trip.

You like music? I give you music.

It has come to my attention that an anonymous reader has been lurking around my blog.

Dear Lurker, I admire your resourcefulness although it was probably my alias that gave me away. hehe. Congratulations, you have the markings of an online stalker! And now, as you mentioned, you'll be able to get to know me more outside of the workplace (and the drinking places). This will certainly give you a glimpse of who I really am, and hopefully, you wouldn't find anything that you don't like. :-) hello, evaluation!

By the way, since you're reading this post, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank you for my new Bloc Party CD, I love it! I really really appreciate the gesture and I never expected to have such a cool kOya! (clue right there).

'till the next briefing session. ;-)

I'm baaaaack!

It's been exactly 7 months and 8 days since my last post. It's been really hectic for me lately, with a supermassive product launch (not just in Manila, but also in Cebu), and a spanking new and surprisingly demanding account :-) But here I am, updating this thing for the less than five people who visit and take an interest in my life (dogpaws, you're one).

Honestly, you could say that I'm a pretty outspoken person. The people close to me would always hear about how I feel and what I think so there's really nothing left to ponder on and thresh out in writing. And when I do speak out, more often than not, I am not really seeking for advice. I just want someone to listen.

I'm going through this phase they call quarter life crisis periodically. I could be on it this week and out of it next week. It's when you feel like you've not done enough or are not doing enough to make your life meaningful. It's that feeling when you think time is flying fast, you're getting old and running out of time to make a difference. It's like when you're sleeping and you can't seem to find the right position in bed. You see other people about your age become so successful and pursue their own passions, and you become a bit envious. How come other people get to do what they enjoy and become successful? I guess I'm getting a bit restless (but definitely not bored). I don't know what I want but I know what I don't want. Thank you, SML, and my buddies, for helping me get through this.

I was just recently on a vacation in Boracay and on our last day, during one of those 'alone' times when I lied on a wooden beach bed staring at the breathtakingly crystal clear seawater, I realized one simple thing: I am okay. A lot of people go through worse in life. A lot of them have bigger problems than what I have but they still manage to be happy. I was watching a group of young boys who stayed by the seashore, frolicking under the sun and suddenly, everything seemed so simple. It's not bad to aspire for something greater and bigger, but we should not forget where we are now and all the blessings that we received. After all, everything happens for a reason. If we just learn to appreciate even the simplest things, then we'll come to realize that life is good. Soooooo good.

Funny, after I made this realization, my boss, who sat beside me, suddenly asked: Na-relax ka ba, Joy? It took me 2 seconds to say: Yes. Super.

And then I made another realization: after all the work, stress, and pressure, all I needed was a moment at the beach, with nature, and I'm ready for the world again.